It"s a painful experience to be deeply connected with a man, only to find him pulling away and losing interest.
如果太过依赖一个男人，结果到头来发现他渐行渐远，对你毫无兴趣，那会是多么痛定思痛。
Have you ever been with a man who seemed to really like you, only to begin distancing himself and saying he really wasn’t ready for a commitment?
你是否曾遇到过这样的男人，他看起来真的很喜欢你，但是最后他选择自我逃离，然后告诉你他并没有准备好承诺一生？
Why is it that he ends up marrying the next woman he dates? Was he lying when he said he wasn"t ready for a commitment?
他为什么不愿和他约过会的那个女人结婚？当他说出他无法做出任何承诺的时候是否意味着他在撒谎？
The answer comes down to deep emotional attraction.
答案还是归结为深度的情感吸引力
In all likelihood, he was not lying when he said he wasn"t ready for a commitment. In fact, unlike women, a man’s default mode is that he is not ready for (or even looking for) a commitment.
几乎肯定的是，在他说出他还没准备好与一个女人长相厮守的时候，他并没有说谎。事实上，男人和女人不同，男人首先想到的就是他还没准备好（有甚者仍在寻找）承诺的兑现，这是男人惯常的思维模式。
It takes a special kind of deep emotional attraction for a man to feel compelled to keep a woman in his life with a shared promise of committed intentions for the future.
对于这类男人而言，我们需要挖掘出某种深度特殊的情感吸引，从而促使男人觉察到在他的生命中有一个女人是值得他做出承诺，并在未来的日子里一同兑现。
What creates that intense emotional bond for men?
I can tell you one thing for certain. Men experience relationships for what they are here and now, in the present moment.
我可以确信地告诉你，男人所关注的更多的是当下的个人认知和人际关系。
This is a stereotype, but because there is so much truth in it you would be foolish to ignore its implications for your relationship.
这虽然是一个陈旧的说法，但是因为这当中隐含着太多的事实，所以如果你仅仅看到了周围人际关系的表象，那就看起来太愚蠢了。
Research with men and women in the early stages of dating relationships has shown that women typically consider themselves to be "in a relationship" by the time the third date rolls around.
早期对男女恋爱关系的研究表明女性一般在第三次约会之后，心里就会认定和对方是恋人的关系了。
In contrast, men do not consider themselves to be “in a relationship” until several months of exclusive dating have occurred.
与此相反，男人并不这么认为，男人一般在经过几个月的多次约会之后才会确立和女性的恋爱关系。
Even when he"s exclusively dating one woman, a man will be surprised when his counterpart suggests the relationship is exclusive. Why is that?
即便当他和一个女人约会的时候，他的朋友暗示他发展一段感情，他会觉得很惊讶。这是为什么呢？
Again, it comes back to the fact that men tend to spend less time plotting and planning the course of their lives in terms of relationships. Men do not define their lives (as much) by where things seem to be going in a relationship.
我们再来看一下，事实上，男人并不会花太多时间去规划他们在恋爱关系中的生活方式。男人也不会因为恋爱关系的进展情况而对自己的生活做出调整。
For your man to reach a point where he desires a committed relationship, something very significant must occur first.
在情感魔力的吸引下，男人才能意识到自己渴望与一个女人有长久的感情。
He must experience an intense emotional attraction that causes him to feel less alive when he is not in your presence.
